Related:

• Take a lesson from the whale; the only time he gets speared is when he raises to spout.
• The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything. -- C. Schultz
• How many football managers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Well, it would only take one, but actually he doesn't change it at all if it worked all right for him last time (lest he gets caricatured on the back page of the gutter press....
• Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it....
• A bank robber hits the biggest bank in LA. He's planned this heist for years and everything goes like clockwork
  but as he's running out of the bank he notices one security camera aimed right at him....
• How many NCAA basketball players -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it....
• Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
  But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. -- Steve Bluestei...
• There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be paid heavily for their acquiring.
  They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's life to know them, the little new that each man gets from life is very costly and the only heritage he has to leave....