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• The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two
  he first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know....
• The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree
  he first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career....
• Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth wate
  ippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center....
• The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Bea
  with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal!...
• The notes blatted skyward as the rose over the Canada geese
  feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh....
• The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never see her little dog Pritzi again.
  -- 1988 Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest, runner up...
• Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-buil
  Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood...
• Quote #572 As the fading light of a dying day filtered through the window blinds, Roger stood over his victim with a smoking .
  45, surprised at the serenity that filled him after pumping six slugs into the bloodless tyrant that mocked him day after day, and then he shuffled out of the office with one last look back at the shattered computer terminal lying there like a silicon armadillo left to rot on the information superhighway....
• The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State Univ.
  by Professor Scott Rice. It is held in memory of Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his time) novelist....