Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.
  After he'd given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later....
• One dusty July afternoon, somewhere around the turn of the century, Patrick Malone was in Mulcahey's Bar, bending an elbow with the other street car conductors from the Brooklyn Traction Company.
  While they were discussing the merits of a local ring hero, the bar goes silent....
• On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes.
  Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks....
• Once at a dinner party when he was a young man, Winston Churchill, who at the time had a moustache, was seated next to an older woman.
  She said to him, "Young man, I care neither for your politics nor for your moustache....
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• Why did the blonde have a bruised navel? Her boyfriend's blonde, too.
• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
  First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about half an hour....
• Chorus: Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
  You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!...