Related:

• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?
  ' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -- Steven Wrigh...
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I woke up this morning, and I realized that somebody had broken into my apartment, stolen all my things and replaced them with exact duplicates.
  I asked my roommate if he noticed anything, and he said, 'Who are you?...
• I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
  I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica....
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, `Well, what do you need?'" -- Steven Wrigh...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
• In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die, would you want to?
  I said "no". She said, "ok, then forget it". -- Steven Wrigh...