Related:

• You know you have a small apartment when... you crack your knuckles and the window rattles.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...
• You know you have a small apartment when... your wall-to-wall carpet is a welcome mat.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...
• Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
• You know you have a small apartment when... you can have breakfast in bed without getting up to fix it.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...
• You know you have a small apartment when... you can answer the telephone from the bed, the kitchen table, the sink or the shower.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
• If you would want to know what you would be like if you lost your mind, put a tape recorder nearby and have it running when you take your second or third drink.
• Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.
  -- Virginia Woolf...
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any....