Related:

• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
• Leela: Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know.
  Fry: There's a lot about my face you don't know....
• Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you!
  Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble....
• My grandfather told me that there are no free rides in this world.
  This is why I do not take federal grants of funding for Westside Preparatory School....
• Sirius is paved with gold So I've heard it said By nuts who then go on to say "See Tau before you're dead.
  I'll gladly take the high road Or even take the low, But if you have to take me apart to get me there Then I, for one, won't go....
• Lisa: I would like to say grace. Ahem. Lord, have mercy on my soul.
  ..and Mom's soul...and Dad's soul......
• How many VMS heads -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  All of them, and they will all scream at you in unison and tell you that the only light bulb you can use is a 100-watt soft white but you can use any 100-watt soft white as long as it's manufactured by DEC....
• I was walking down Madison Avenue and I saw a very good-looking tie in a shop window.
  So I went in. Before I could say anything the manager said, "Oh, Tony Randall!...
• A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
  -- Barry Goldwate...