Related:

• The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance The guy on the right has the Osborne 1, a fully functional computer system in a portable package the size of a briefcase.
  The guy on the left has an Uzi submachine gun concealed in his attache case....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Let us never step back from compassion. The message we must convey to the American people is that we fight for welfare reform
  we fight for health-care reform and other reforms not just to save money, but because we believe there are better ways to take care of Americans in need than the exhausted programs of the past....
• Marge: Bart, since he is giving you all of his money, maybe it would be nice if you'd spend some time with him.
  Bart: Well... Marge: Come on, honey. Bart: All right....
• Dear Emily: I'm still confused as to what groups articles should be posted to.
  How about an example? -- Still Confused Dear Still...
• The care of every man's soul belongs to himself. But what if he neglect the care of it?
  Well what if he neglect the care of his health or his estate, which would more nearly relate to the state....
• Homer: Well, time to go to work. Lisa: Dad, I wouldn't go outside if I were you.
  [Chief Wiggum and a lot of cops stand on the street outside] Wiggum...
• In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.
  S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time....
• Reasoned decision is important, and there comes a time in every wizard's life when he must decide what goal he should pursue to give true meaning to his life.
  Should it be money, or travel, or fame? And what of leisure and the love of women?...