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• A fella's talking to his priest. He said, "I gave up sex for Lent .
  .. Well, I tried to, but the last day of Lent my wife dropped a can of peaches and when she bent over to pick 'em up, I couldn't help it....
• He tried the luxury of doing good.
  -- George Crabbe (1754-1832) -- Tales of the Hall, Book iii, Boys at School...
• He did not mean to be cruel. If anybody had called him so, he would have resented it extremely.
  He would have said that what he did was done entirely for the good of the country....
• Habit with him was all the test of truth; "It must be righ
  I've done it from my youth." -- George Crabbe...
• What an accident! I had the right of way, but he had the truck!
• Cut and come again. -- George Crabbe (1754-1832) -- Tales, Tale vii, The Widow's Tale
• In this fool's paradise he drank delight.
  -- George Crabbe (1754-1832) -- The Borough, Letter xii, Playe...
• He had a lot of trouble in geometry, he thought the thing opposite the right angle in a right-angled triangle was a hippopotamus.
• Better to love amiss than nothing to have loved.
  -- George Crabbe (1754-1832) -- Tale xiv, The Struggles of Conscience...