Related:

• Cabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• cabbage, n: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
  -- Ambrose Bierce...
• ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage.
  A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the matter there was once a considerably dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of the body was immaterial....
• RIGHT, n. Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have
  as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like....
• BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think what we think.
  That which distinguishes the man who is content to _be_ something from the man who wishes to _do_ something....
• ABDICATION, n. An act whereby a sovereign attests his sense of the high temperature of the throne.
  Poor Isabella's Dead, whose abdication Set all tongues wagging in the Spanish nation....
• RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth.
  He held at court a rank so high That other noblemen asked why....