Related:

• A gentleman is a man who can support his own weight on his hands.
• Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear.
  So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay, you say `ass' and I'll say `hell'"....
• Dr.J: The child is not supposed to know his own IQ, of course, but as you can see, it's beyond the range of any doubt.
  [hands Homer a slip of paper] Homer: Nine hundred and twelve!...
• An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
• Homer: I can't believe we spent $2,000 on this when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
  Herb: Homer, would you stop thinking about your ass?...
• Carefully study these two enlarged photographs on display, Mr.
  Rafferty," the attorney for a politician suing a newspaper for libel instructed his client on the witness stand, "and indicate which is your ass and which is a hole in the ground....
• Any fool can write a bad advertisement, but it takes a genius to keep his hands off a good one.
  -- David Ogilvy...
• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.