CELSIUS, ANDERS (1701-44)
Swedish astronomer. At the age of 25, he had a raging argument with
best friend Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit (1686-1736) when he claimed
that Fahrenheit's system of measuring temperature was completely
fucked, and that he could design a better system whilst standing on
his head blindfolded in a bucket of lard. Fahrenheit rose to the
challenge, bringing along his friend Jeff Imperial, a blindfold,
and a very large bucket of lard. Celsius's good friend Verner Von
Metric stood by as Celsius designed his system of measuring
temperature. Celsius and Metric then got into a huge fight with
Fahrenheit and Imperial, and they ended up throwing ice cubes and
boiling water at one another. It was only later that they realised
that Celsius's brother Kelvin had been watching all the time and
had ripped off the new design and sold it to an entrepreneur.
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
