Related:

• RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ABORIGINIES, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country.
  They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a dwarfish imp inhabiting the interior parts of the earth and having special custody of mineral treasures.
  Bjorsen, who died in 1765, says gnomes were common enough in the southern parts of Sweden in his boyhood, and he frequently saw them scampering on the hills in the evening twilight....
• HEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment.
  He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn....