Related:

• INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
  "All men are ingrates," sneered the cynic. "Nay," The good philanthropist replied...
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment.
  He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals....
• Christmas time is here, by Golly; Kill the turkeys, ducks and chicke
  Disapproval would be folly; Mix the punch, drag out the Dicke...
• BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become responsible for that entrusted to another to a third.
  Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of his favorites, a dissolute nobleman, to a high office, asked him what security he would be able to give....
• Once Law was sitting on the bench And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
  "Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench! Nor come before me creeping....
• INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for wherea
  aith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but one way to do nothing and divers way to do something, whereof, to a surety, only one is the right way, it followeth that he who from indecision standeth still hath not so many chances of going astray as he who pusheth forwards" -- a most clear and satisfactory exposition on the matter....
• LAW, n. Once Law was sitting on the bench, And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
  "Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench! Nor come before me creeping....