Related:

• A Code of Honour: never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.
  There are too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonourable behaviour....
• Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding.
  If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies....
• In the case of some women, orgasms take quite a bit of time.
  Before signing on with such a partner, make sure you are willing to lay aside, say, the month of June, with sandwiches having to be brought in....
• Never let your wife or girlfriend watch I Spit on Your Grave.
• Bart: There. If I can just get through this many days without seeing her she should be completely out of my system.
  OK: day one. [circles it] Marge: Time for church, Bart!...
• Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, and the other to be buried.
  -- Colto...
• Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
• As a general rule of thumb, never trust anybody who's been in therapy for more than 15 percent of their life span.
  The words "I am sorry" and "I am wrong" will have totally disappeared from their vocabulary....