Related:

• Barney: So next time somebody tells you carney folk are good, honest people, you can spit in their faces for me!
  Lisa: I will, Mr. Gumbel, but if you'll excuse me, I'm profiling my dad for the school paper....
• Norman, put the knife down, Norman...Norman?...NORMAN!
• Grampa: Pull your chair closer, my son. Homer: What is it, Dad?
  Grampa: Peeyoo! Not that close! Sheesh. Homer, that heart attack made me realize that I'm going to die someday....
• My dad hit me only once - with the Buick.
• I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. -- Steven Pearl
• I admire men of character, and I judge character not by how men deal with their superio
  but mostly how they deal with their subordinates, and that, to me, is where you find out what the character of a man is....
• Lisa: [noticing the cufflinks] Hey Dad, did you forget to give those cufflinks to Hugh?
  Homer: Uh...no. Lisa: Well? Homer: I found them on the nightstand this morning and....
• Hey! This is not my dad's TAGLINE!!!
• Art is the difference between seeing and just identifying. -- Jean Mary Norma