Related:

• Dear Miss Manners: I carry a big black umbrella, even if there's just a thirty percent chance of rain.
  May I ask a young lady who is a stranger to me to share its protection?...
• The birds are singing, the flowers are budding, and it is time for Miss Manners to tell young lovers to stop necking in public.
  It's not that Miss Manners is immune to romance. Miss Manners has been known to squeeze a gentleman's arm while being helped over a curb, and, in her wild youth, even to press a dainty slipper against a foot or two under the dinner table....
• DEAR MISS MANNERS -- When someone brings sweet rolls to work for a treat, is it proper for people to cut them up and leave halves, quarters or eighths on the plate?
  GENTLE READER -- Those who bring sweet rolls to work should not be quartered, much less eighthed....
• Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
  Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ....
• HAG, n. An elderly lady whom you do not happen to like
  ometimes called, also, a hen, or cat. Old witches, sorceresses, etc....
• Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
  Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ....