Related:

• Death has been proven to be 99% fatal in laboratory rats.
• The schoolboy whips his taxed top; the beardless youth manages his taxed horse with a taxed bridle on a taxed road
  and the dying Englishman, pouring his medicine, which has paid seven per cent, into a spoon that has paid fifteen per cent, flings himself back upon his chintz bed which has paid twenty-two per cent, and expires in the arms of an apothecary who has paid a license of a hundred pounds for the privilege of putting him to death....
• Research has now proven that living is the leading cause of death.
• Sex is 90 per cent in the head.
• It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.