Related:

• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra":) Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached.
  .. (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can....
• Machine voice:) Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith.
  I have taken over the functions of this inferior being....
• You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition.
  You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded....
• We're not in cause we're out LOOTING! Leave a message and we'll call you back and tell you what we got.
  -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Jack Webb voice:) This is the city. Lambertville, New Jersey.
  I work here. I carry a tune. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking.
  I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible....