Related:

• You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back. -- Emo Phillip
• I'm from Downers Grove, Illinois. We had a blackout there the other day, but fortunately the police made him get back into his car before he got too far.
  -- Emo Phillip...
• A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
  -- Emo Phillip...
• When it comes to my health, I think of my body as a temple.
  .. or at least a moderately well-managed Presbyterian youth center. -- Emo Phillip...
• I'm a great lover, I'll bet. -- Emo Phillip
• You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers.
  ..damn anthropologists. -- Emo Phillip...
• The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?
  I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way." -- Emo Phillip...
• The toughest time...in anyone's life...is when you have to kill a loved one just because they're the devil.
  -- Emo Phillip...
• I went into Gus's artificial organ and taco stand. I said "Give me a bladder por favor.
  The guy said "Is that to go?" I said, "Well what else would I want it for?" -- Emo Phillip...