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• Well I don't see why I have to make one man miserable when I can make so many men happy.
  -- Ellyn Mustard, about marriage...
• You need tender loving care once a week - so that I can slap you into shape." -- Ellyn Mustard
• I have tolerance for everyone... except Rush Limbaugh.
• Sex is what women have and men want.
• Burns: Smithers, guess what happened to me last night?
  Smithers: I don't know, sir. You had sex with that old woman?...
• A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
  -- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature...
• We've got everyone convinced except the people who have to make the decision.
• Women are not much, but they are the best other sex we have. -- Herold