Related:

• BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...