Related:

• HYPOCHONDRIASIS, n. Depression of one's own spirits.
  Some heaps of trash upon a vacant lot Where long the village rubbish had been shot Displayed a sign among the stuff and stumps -- "Hypochondriasis....
• ABATIS, n. Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from stores are exposed to the fury of the customs.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BENEDICTINES, n. An order of monks otherwise known as black friars.
  She thought it a crow, but it turn out to be A monk of St....
• MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin.
  There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them....
• LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...