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• When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in a movie theatre, he walked over and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir, but you're allowed only a single seat.
  The man moaned, but did not budge. "Sir," the user said more loudly, "if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager....
• When I walked into the supermarket the manager got a grocery cart for me.
  I said, "Why do you always give me a cart with a squeaky wheel?...
• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
  First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about half an hour....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lamonte Cranston once hired a new Chinese manservant.
  While describing his duties to the new man, Lamonte pointed to a bowl of candy on the coffee table and warned him that he was not to take any....
• In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest in the elevator.
  I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally threw him out of the synagogue....
• I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
  o i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?...
• On the day of his anniversary, Joe was frantically shopping around for a present for his wife.
  He knew what she wanted, a grandfather clock for the living room, but he found the right one almost impossible to find....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....