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• Sorry Bob, but I'm feeling silly tonight.
• Hello good evening and welcome, to BLACKMAIL!
• What is it but a map of busy life, Its fluctuations, and its vast concerns?
  -- William Cowper (1731-1800) -- The Task, Book iv, The Winter Evening, Line 55...
• Marge: [bright] Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say, "There's a whole lotta frownin' going on".
  [laughs, then says "Mmm..."] Lisa: Mom, doesn't _any_ love story have a happy ending?...
• Good Evening, I'm Ted Modem and This.......is TAGLINE.
• Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the universal amphitheater.
• I wonder if there's anything GOOD on tonight? -- Zippy the Pinhead
• We're going to find out tonight who the oldest lady in the audience is.
  And we have a marvelous present for her. When we find the oldest lady, we're going to give her ....
• Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!