Related:

• Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the faculty.
• The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
  "We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs....
• The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.
  "To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated....
• College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played.
  There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity....
• A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. -- John Ciardi