Related:

• Homer: Don't worry about a thing, honey. I'm going to help you through this.
  [he and Marge sit down; some noises occur] Those are all normal noises....
• Ned: I don't like the service at the post office. You know, it's all "rush rush!
  get'cha in, get'cha out!" Then they've got those machines in the lobby, they're even faster, no help there....
• When cutting down trees, remember to pause now and then to sharpen your axe.
• He means well" is useless unless he does well. -- Plautu
• Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees. Phoebe
  Have fun. Oh wait, no, don't! I forgot I am totally against that now....
• If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
  We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• No wonder a repeat performance is called a SECOND HELPING.
  When a man goes for seconds, he needs all the help he can get....
• A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.
  -- Herb Cae...