Related:

• Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, I'm in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do?
  Rachel's all like, "I love you and, and let's work on this....
• Why should I?" is the cry of work dodgers. Their aim is to do just enough to get by.
  They are clock watchers who are afraid they will render more service than they are paid to perform....
• Oh Father, my Father, Oh what must I do? They're burning our streets and beating me blue.
  "Listen my son, I'll tell you the truth: Get a close haircut and spit-shine your shoes....
• I am too much of a skeptic to deny the possibility of anything. Thomas H. Huxley [1900]
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr.
  Burns. After she tears into him I'll rush in and save the day....
• Mother seemed pleased by my draft notice. "Just think of all the people in England, they've chosen you, it's a great honour, son.
  Laughingly I felled her with a right cross. -- Spike Milliga...
• If you weren't my teacher, I'd think you just deleted all my files.
  -- an anonymous UCB CS student, to an instructor who had typed rm -i * to get rid of a file named -f on a Unix system....
• Nick: I know I'm supposed to cut something, but what?
  [removes surgical mask] And where? Lisa: [from the amphitheatre] Hey!...