With wild gesticulations and loud, gutteral shouts, "Father Steve" jerked
the desperately ill patient back and forth while pelting him with oil,
dousing him with holy water, and beating him vigorously about the head with
a pocket New Testament (the words of Jesus being written in red) in his own
unique version of Xtreme Unction.
-- Rev. William F. Charles's entry to the 2001 annual Bulwer-Lytton contest
Quote #557
Carlotta lay on the mound of pillows strewn about the floor of the
poolhouse back arched and head thrown back, screaming the name of the only
man who had ever taken her to the pinnacle of unbridled ecstasy, the only
man with whom she had experienced the overwhelming rush of carnal
electricity - unfortunately not the man who now peered up at her from the
tangle of hastily discarded clothing with the sullen and quizzical visage of
a calf looking at a new gate....
Quote #565
Virgule gazed across the vast, cold eel expanse past his inquisitor to
witness the full consequence of his previous decision - feral, withered
children, in tattered, filthy garments, toiled mindlessly at his command in
a single chamber which reeked of oil and burning animal flesh - his time had
come to deliver the final instructio...
Quote #554
Rodney knew that he was going to die a horrible creaming, unspeakable
death, when he arrived on the bridge in a uniform that did not match the
others, was referred to only as "yeoman" and was to be sent planetside with
Captain Kirk and the regular away team....
Quote #553
The battered starship bucked and yawed in the frigid belly of the
interstellar ion storm her tortured steel deckplates screaming as they were
mercilessly wrenched by the lashing gravity tide waves, the ship's disaster
alarms blaring madly and the crash lighting casting an eerie red glow in the
smoke-filled bridge as StarCaptain Lazlo Permute, gripping the diskette
containing the necessary navigation coordinates to finally escape the storm,
waited for the elevator door to the bridge to go "ding" and open....
Quote #550
"I could tell you stories about this road we shall be traveling he old
man told his young companions as he leaned on his staff and stroked his
silver beard, "of how it was built by Dwarves of the Barad-dur in the days
of Thranduil the Great, numberless years before the Elves of the Ered Luin
left their silver woods in Lindon, sailed their ships over the Western Sea,
and passed from the knowledge of men, but what would you learn from these
tales, except that I squandered my college years reading far too much
Tolkien instead of meeting girls....