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• If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.
  -- Homer J. Simpson, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Proctor: All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
  Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter-- Procto...
• You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.
  -- Homer to Apu, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Apu: Sir, it may surprise you to know that _I_ am an immigrant.
  Homer: You? Pfft, get out. -- Well, duh, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• I wish I could have stayed one more year or two. There was so much I wanted to see and to do and to have done to me.
  -- Apu Nahassapeemapetilan, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Apu: Ohh, I fell asleep! I have forgotten everything that Mr.
  Homer taught me! Lisa: Perfect. Let's roll....
• Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
  Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad. Homer: Thank you, dear....
• Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much.
  -- Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (1564-1616)...