Related:

• Milhouse: Will there be cavemen in heaven? Sunday School Teache
  Certainly not! Bart: Uh, ma'am? What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated....
• Bart: I've changed my ways. _Please_ give me another chance, ma'am.
  Teacher: All right, Bart. The Bible _does_ teach forgiveness....
• Bart: [plaintive] Are you there, God? It's me, Bart Simpson.
  I know I never paid too much attention in church, but I could really use some of that good stuff now....
• Marge: So, what did you children learn about today?
  Bart: Hell. Homer: Bart! Bart: But that's what we learned about....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lisa: Remember, Bart -- I mean, Dances In Underwear -- we take the White Man alive.
  Bart: All right, Thinks Too Much: it shall be so....
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• Miss Allbright: Hell is a terrible place. Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket, there's a lake of fire burning with sulfur.
  You'll be tormented day and night for ever and ever....
• Bart: You know, the great thing about Sunday school is we're finally learning something we can use.
  Jessica: Yah, so true. I have to turn my chair this way now....