Lisa: And now it's time for the Innocence Report with Homer Simpson.
[holds sign: "Innocence Report"]
Homer: Hello. I am Homer Simpson, or as some of you wags have dubbed
me, Father Goose. You know, everybody believed the worst about
me right away; nobody cares that I didn't do it. But I didn't!
OK, look: I've done some bad things in my life, but harassing
women is not one of them. [softly] Like one time, we were having
this race with the stupid old tiny bicycle with the big wheel in
front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big
chunk of cinderblock, and --
Marge: [makes choking noises]
Homer: Oh, gotta go. [walks off]
[pops head back on] Innocent!
-- Classy public access TV, "Homer Bad Man"