Related:

• Cabbie: Yeah, I might have seen her. Gannon: [typing] Well, according to our computer aging program, she should look about.
  .. [turns screen around; it has a giant "25" on it] 25 years older....
• We're going to find out tonight who the oldest lady in the audience is.
  And we have a marvelous present for her. When we find the oldest lady, we're going to give her ....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk.
  Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor....
• Marge: Mom's almost ready for her date. She sure seems taken by this new beau.
  I feel so bad for Grampa. Homer: Dad says this new guy's a repulsive, obnoxious old billionaire....
• Friday: Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?
  Burns: Absolutely! Who could forget such a monstrous visage?...
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• COONDOG MEMORY (heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago) Now
  his dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot....