Related:

• Lovejoy: Now, for our offertory reading, Lisa Simpson -- who we'll all be keeping an eye on.
  Lisa: I know most of you have already judged my brother guilty without any proof, but doesn't the Bible teach us, "Judge not, lest ye be judged," Reverend?...
• Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this.
  So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola -- [all the kids recite in unison] Ralph...
• Ned: Jeepers H. Crackers. I'd better call the Reverend.
  [pushes "Rev. Lovejoy" button on phone] [the Rev is playing with a train set] Mrs....
• Marge: But you can't let a few bad experiences sour you on helping people.
  Lovejoy: Oh, sure I can. [the phone rings] [shudders] You handle it....
• That Reverend Lovejoy <really> displeases Me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.
  -- God, "Homer the Heretic...
• Krusty: OK, OK, let's figure out who should stay. The world of the future will need laughter, so I'm in.
  Moe: And they'll need somebody to dispense drinks, i....
• Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
  And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also....
• Lovejoy: [holding cleaning brushes] I want you to clean every one of these organ pipes that you have befouled with your popular music.
  [hands the brushes out, walks off] [Bart and Milhouse start cleaning...