Related:

• Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you.
  So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service....
• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....
• on "Bite Back"] Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
  Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats] [Apu turns off the TV] I think I come off very well....
• Apu: Sir, it may surprise you to know that _I_ am an immigrant.
  Homer: You? Pfft, get out. -- Well, duh, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Apu: {[holds out a towel] Good morning, sir!} Home
  {Aah!} Apu: {Relax, please. You do not have anything I have not seen before....
• Moe: D'oh, he's going to ruin everything! All right, that's it, Home
  either Burns goes, or Moe goes. Apu: Yes, I am afraid that I am going to have to make a similar threat with my name in place of Moe's name....
• Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
  When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks....
• Apu: Oh, it's hopeless. Oh, poor Apu. Abe: Hey! The government can't control the sky.
  What if you lived in a balloon? Lisa: That's it!...
• Homer: Darn it, Apu, I'm not gonna let them kick you out!
  [pulls a "Yes on 24" button off his shirt] I never should have bought this button....