Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson? This
better be important.
Homer: It is, it is, but first, let me introduce you to my family,
my perfect family. This is my wife Marge...
Marge: Hello.
Homer: ... and our beautiful baby ...
Maggie: [sucks pacifier]
Homer: ... my daughter Lisa, I. Q. 156 ...
Lisa: [curtsies] Hi.
Homer: See? And my son Bart; [Bart winks] he owns a factory
downtown.
Grimes: How do you do. Uh, look Homer, I'm, I'm late for my night
job at the foundry so if you don't mind telling m--
[trails off as he looks around the casa de Simpson. The
camera momentarily shifts to Grime's point of view and gives
us a 360-degree look at the family's living room]
Good Heavens! This is a palace! H-How can, how in the world
can you afford to live in a house like this, Simpson?
Homer: I dunno. Don't as me how the economy works.
Grimes: Yeah, but look at the size of this place! I -- I live in a
single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling
alley.
Homer: Wow.
Grimes: [notices some pictures on the wall] I'm sorry, isn't
that ...
Homer: Yes, that's me, and the guy standing next to me is President
Gerald Ford.
[gestures to other photos]
And this is when I was on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins.
Oh! And here's a picture of me in outer space.
Grimes: You? Went into outer space? You?
Homer: Sure. You've never been? Would you like to see my Grammy
award? [holds up award]
Grimes: No! I wouldn't!
God, I've had to work hard every day of my life, and what do
I have to show for it? This briefcase and this haircut! And
what do you have to show for your lifetime of sloth and
ignorance?
Homer: What?
Grimes: Everything! A dream house! Two cars! A beautiful wife! A
son who owns a factory! Fancy clothes and [sniffs air]
lobsters for dinner. And do you deserve any of it? No!
Homer: [gasps] What are you saying?
Grimes: I'm saying you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You
coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you
leech off of decent, hardworking people like me. Heh, if you
lived in any other country in the world, you'd have starved
to death long ago.
Bart: He's got you there, dad.
Grimes: You're a fraud. A total fraud. [leaves]
[pokes his head in the door]
[to Marge and the kids] It was nice meeting you.
[leaves again, slamming the front door]
-- A fork in the eye would have been an improvement,
"Homer's Enemy"
