Related:

• Hi, dudes, this is 229-3053, the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway.
  I'm afraid we're all out just now on a desperate mission to save the Planet from boring answering machine messages, but if you know what The Shredder has done to April O'Neill, or if you know where he is, or if you can think of a decent pizza recipe, just leave your name and number and we'll ring you right back....
• This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read.
  So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it....
• Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls.
  So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone....
• Bart: Sorry I froze you out Lis, I, I just didn't want the guys to think I'd gone soft on the girl issue.
  Lisa: [sighs] I'm tired of being an issue, Bart....
• Maybe you should just learn to use this. [hands Lisa a whistle] If there's a war, just blow on it, and I'll come help you.
  -- Rangemaster at military school, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
• Malloy: And little Lisa: here's your saxophone. Lisa
  Thank you. And thank you, Dad. You got it back -- just like you said you would....
• Marge: All right, all right, but if you win, don't make a scene and dance around with your "woo-hoo"s, please!
  We can't afford a single slipup. They're judging us....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Marge: Lisa, if you ever want to quit and come home, I'll be here in half a jiff.
  Bart: [poking his head into frame] I want to quit and come home....