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• Marge: Hello once again. As usual, I must warn you all that this year's Hallowe'en show is very
  very scary, and those of you with young children may want to send them off for bed -- [someone hands her a pape...
• Ahem. Hello, everyone. Before last year's Hallowe'en show, I warned you not to let your children watch.
  But you did anyway. Mm. Well, this year's episode is even worse....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lisa: Hey, Bart. How's your arm? Bart: It's all right.
  I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do....
• Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know.
  I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh....
• Monica: Please tell me you_re stopping now. Pete: I_m fine!
  I'd fight tonight, if they_d let me. [stands up and starts swinging his arms] See this circle I'm marking off here?...
• Marge: [bright] Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say, "There's a whole lotta frownin' going on".
  [laughs, then says "Mmm..."] Lisa: Mom, doesn't _any_ love story have a happy ending?...
• Marge: All right, all right, but if you win, don't make a scene and dance around with your "woo-hoo"s, please!
  We can't afford a single slipup. They're judging us....
• Good Eeevening. I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares.
  You see, there are some *crybabies* out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended....