Related:

• Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right -- no, the duty -- to make a complete ass of myself.
  -- Homer Simpson Dancin' Home...
• Homer: You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues someday.
  Bart: What? Aren't we going to see any washed-up major-leaguers?...
• Marge: Oh, that's it: I'm going to write you a ticket.
  Homer: But Marge! We're family. Marge: You're breaking the law....
• Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
  Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Don't fill up on those vegetables, kids.
  Save room for your nachos! Lisa+Bart: All right!...
• Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man!?
  Homer: Calm down, Marge, it's just our life savings....
• Marge: [thinking] Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law.
  Dog, no leash. Man, littering. Horse, not wearing diaper....
• Marge: Homer, those were very thoughtful presents, but you have to tell me where you got the money from.
  Homer: All right, Marge, I'll tell you, but first you have to promise you will not get mad....