Related:

• Artie: Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my busy hands.
  Not so much for myself, but I am so respected, it would damage the TOWN to hear it....
• Marge: Well kids, I tried, but maybe you're right. Home
  Wait a minute, Marge. Love isn't hopeless. Maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there was one time I got it right....
• Homer: Wait a minute. That word you keep calling me?
  Artie: Ignoramus? Homer: Ignoramus? It means I'm stupid, doesn't it!...
• Barney: Hey, Estelle? Will you go to the prom with me?
  Estelle: I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould!...
• Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king.
  Good for you. -- Artie Ziff's acceptance speech, "The Way We Wa...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Evelyn: Well, I can't pump [the gas] myself. I'm calling AAA.
  Marge: [stops her] I used to be a little overwhelmed too, but it's not that hard....
• Homer: You said you'd go the prom with me. Marge: I also said I hated you, and we haven't even talked since then.
  Homer: I was afraid you'd cancel our date, so I stayed away from you completely, even though it meant skipping school for three weeks and graduating this summer....
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....