Related:

• Lisa: A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian! Ba
  So, any idea where this bastard lives? Homer: Bart!...
• Marge: {Where are you going, Bart?} Bart: {Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me.
  } Marge: {[happy] Mmm!} Bart: {And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson....
• Bart: Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.
  Homer: Marge, I want you to take care of yourself out there....
• Marge: Bart, you said you were going to study. Ba
  [clearly in pain] Oh! My stomach. Marge: Mmm, you just don't want to take that test....
• Marge: It's a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious.
  Homer: Nonsense, Marge. Frosty Krusty Flakes is what got him where he is today!...
• Marge: Hmm, I don't know, Bart. You're only ten. Lisa
  I've got a weekend job helping the poor and I'm only eight....
• Bart: Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife! Home
  But why? She's such a fox. [Marge scowls at him] I mean, what's on Fox tonight?...
• Lisa: I need help, Mom. There's another girl at school who's smarter, younger, and a better sax player than me.
  Ew, I feel so average. Marge: Well, you'll always be number one to me -- Ba...
• Marge: The national grammar rodeo? I wish I were going.
  Oh, wait, wait; I wish I _was_ going. Is that right, Bart?...