Related:

• Murphy's Fourth Law of the Kitchen: When the meal you are preparing is on schedule, the guests will be forty-five minutes late.
  Corollary: When the guests are on time, the meal will be forty-five minutes late....
• Bart: [in pain] Why? Jessica: I'm sorry, Bart. You know my parents can't find out about us.
  And besides, if it's secret, it's even more exciting....
• Ms.K: Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo?
  Bart: [imagines himself, yo-yo in hand. Ms. Krabappel is inches tall] Here ya go....
• Owner: If you are waiting for the Hi & Lois signing, it has been moved to the Springfield Coliseum.
  Bart: Please, you have something of mine on a little piece of paper....
• Homer: Marge, could we go in the other room? I did something last night I'm not proud of, and I don't want the kids to hear it.
  Bart: Busted! Homer: [in the other room, explaining] I'll work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy....
• I think this is something Bart would really have enjoyed.
  But it's the only way he'll learn... -- Lisa, "Bart the Murdere...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Krusty: Bart! I need to use you in a sketch. Ba
  You want me to be on the show? Krusty: It's just one line....
• Skinner: It's coming pretty close to the ground, maybe I can catch it.
  Don't touch the telescope, Bart. A slight change in elevation can destroy a whole morning's work....