Related:

• Burns: Look at that man, he has the crowd in the palm of his hand.
  I haven't seen anything like it since Jolson....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lisa: Isn't anybody going to show up? Lovejoy: Well, Lisa, we've waited an hour.
  [clears his throat, reads] Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to Blood and Guts Murphy....
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• Bart: [whining] Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets.
  And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination....
• Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my retirement home.
  His name is Malloy. Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?...
• And now, with his picks for today's games, the man who's right 52% of the time, Smooth Jimmy Apollo!
  -- Brent Gunsilman hosts a football pre-game show, "Lisa the Greek...
• Brent: It is the playoffs. It's five below, and there's one loyal fan wearing nothing but a G-string, and the team colors painted on his body!
  [camera shows the fan in question, shivering, teeth chattering] Johnny...
• Stampy trumpets] Homer: What's he yelling about? Lisa
  He's hungry. Here you go Stampy: [holds a platter] eat it slow....