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• Next, we take some toilet paper, tear off some teensy little squares, and stick one there.
  .. and there... and any place you're bleeding... there....
• Jessica: Hi. Bart: Uh, we should get to class. Jessica
  What's the hurry? Bart: We could get in trouble for being late....
• Homer: Got your nose! Heh heh heh. Bart: Got your wallet!
  [flushes down toilet] -- Precocious, ain't he, "Lisa's First Word...
• a chainsaw noise is heard] Bart: Hey! I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.
  Willy: Why you little -- [thinking] No, no, go easy on the wee one....
• Willy: {Spill it! Where's your brother?} Skinner: {You'd better answer him, Lisa.
  He's a bad man. [Lisa giggles] What are you laughing about?...
• When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
• Skinner: Our next budget item: $12 for doorknob repair.
  Parents: Nay! [burning Willy tries to escape, but the doorknob falls off] Skinne...
• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something happens.
  Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home...
• Ned: I'm talking about your, heh heh, potty-mouth.
  Homer: What the hell are you talking about? -- "Bart the Love...