Related:

• If we pay dogfood salespeople more than we do teachers, we should not be surprised if our dogs eat like kids, and our kids end up reading like dogs.
  -- MR KR COMAN bakc@giraffe.ru.ac.za...
• She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.
  -- Crazy Vlaclav tries to sell Homer a car, "Mr. Plow...
• Martin: Aw, a car impound lot: the impenetrable fortress of suburbia!
  Milhouse: We'll never get the tree back now. Ba...
• We got rid of our kids. The cats are allergic!
• Mr. Plow, for making it possible for people to get where they're going without resorting to public transportation &l
  or> car-pooling, I give you the keys to the city. -- Diamond Joe Quimby, "Mr. Plow...
• Ah, Simpson. At last we meet. -- Mr.
  Burns, calling Homer in regarding Bart's accident, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Homer: We always have one good kid and one lousy kid.
  Why can't both our kids be good? Marge: We have three kids, Homer. Separate Vacatio...
• Hug your kids at home and belt 'em in the car.
• Troy: [voiceover] When Homer sold his soul for a donut, he found Hell isn't all it's cracked up to be in these never-before broadcast scenes.
  [a demon selects Homer's head from several and grips it] [he rolls it down an alley as Homer's head screams] [it hits the spiked pins and breaks open, revealing a note...