Related:

• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something happens.
  Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home...
• Oh, no. What if they botch it? I won't have a dad-- for awhile.
  -- Bart realizes Homer needs a coronary bypass, "Homer's Triple Bypa...
• and that's why God causes train wrecks.
  -- Bart's Sunday School Teacher, "Homer's Triple Bypa...
• Homer: Hey, kids, how was school? Lisa: I learned how many grams in a pennyweight.
  Bart: I got expelled. Homer: That's my boy! [sips his Duff] Mmm....
• Bart: Any luck, Dad? Homer: No, but the rabbi gave me this.
  [spins a dreidel] Bart: What is that? Homer: Son, it's called a droodel....
• Homer: I'm going to tell the truth and I'm _not_ gonna sugar-coat it.
  [later, does a puppet show] And so the tiny aorta fairies will take Mr....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lisa: What's up there? Bart: Is it a monster? Lisa
  We have to know. Bart: Tell us what's the secret....
• I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids.
  So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?...