Related:

• Umpire: Play ball! Chief Wiggum: [steps to the plate] Police radio
  Attention all units! Attention all units! Armored car being robbed at 59th and....
• Lisa: That story isn't suitable for children.
  Chief Wiggum: Really? I keep my pants on in this version. -- "I Love Lisa...
• Let that be a lesson to the rest of you nuts!
  -- Chief Wiggum addresses a bowl of walnuts, "I Love Lisa...
• Ah, nothing beats a good porno movie. -- Chief Wiggum, "I Love Lisa
• Homer: You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!
  Chief Wiggum: [suddenly afraid] They are? Oh, no!...
• Wiggum: If it isn't my old friends from Springfield, the Simpsons!
  What brings you folks to New Orleans? Ba...
• Lou: Here's your man, chief. Wiggum: Cecil? I think not.
  This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob....
• Marge: [into microphone] Hello, police? This is Marge Simpson.
  My husband is on a murderous rampage. Over....
• Homer: Well, time to go to work. Lisa: Dad, I wouldn't go outside if I were you.
  [Chief Wiggum and a lot of cops stand on the street outside] Wiggum...