Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
Thanks, Marge. When My Husband Left, He Took All Our Power Tools Along With The Car, My Youth, My Faith In Mankind.
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
Thanks, Marge. When my husband left, he took all our power tools along
with the car, my youth, my faith in mankind.
-- Ruth Powers on divorce, "Marge on the Lam"
Related:
Marge: Ruth, is there something you want to tell me?
Ruth: Remember when I said my ex-husband was behind on his child support?...
Ruth: [sighs] I envy you and Homer. Marge: Thank you.
[realizing] Why? Ruth: If you ever met my ex-husband, you'd understand....
Ruth: Look, Marge, there's no reason for you to get dragged into this.
Once we lose the cops, I'll let you out. Marge...
Marge: Maybe we should call it a night. Ruth: OK. I _should_ get home to my daughter before that naked talk show comes on.
-- The one with bacon on the beach?, "Marge on the Lam...
Ruth: [pointing] Look, you can see our houses. Marge
Hmm. There's an awful lot of black smoke coming from my chimney....
Marge: What's going on? Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
Marge: What conversation? Bart: [turns on a tape recorder] Tape...
Narrator: Ruth Powers was tried in Springfield Superior Court.
The judge dismissed her ex-husband's auto theft charges and forced him to pay all back child support....
Homer: [into bullhorn] Marge, Marge! Marge: Homer? Home
Look Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband....
Ruth: [about her ex-husband] To top it off, he's been stiffing me on child support for the last four months.
Marge: Hmm. Well, you _were_ unlucky. But there _are_ a lot of good men out there....