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Leader: What's the matter? Don't girls like doing push-ups in the mud?
Lisa: Is there any answer that I can give that won't result in more push-ups?...
Rangemaste
Maybe you should just learn to use this. [hands Lisa a whistle] If there's a war, just blow on it, and I'll come help you.
-- Rangemaster at military school, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
Nurse: [answers phone] Simpson. Grampa: Hot diggity!
I don't care if it's bad news! Lisa: Oh, Grampa!...
Bart: What is it? Lisa: Bart, I got a cassette from Mom and Dad.
I thought we could listen to it together....
Marge: [on cassette] Don't worry, sweetie. It's very common to be homesick when you're so far away from the people who love you.
Lisa: [pauses tape] Okay, I'm not going to...
Bart: Sorry I froze you out Lis, I, I just didn't want the guys to think I'd gone soft on the girl issue.
Lisa: [sighs] I'm tired of being an issue, Bart. Maybe everyone w...
Commandant: Well, cadets, it's been a great year. You've all worked very hard developing academic skills and general killing skills.
Bart: [aside to Lisa] My killing tea...
Lisa: [reading] Meet me at the Eliminator after lights out.
P.S., The cadets are planning to throw their meatballs at you....
Lisa: I can't do this, Bart. I'm not strong enough.
Bart: I thought you came here looking for a challenge....
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