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Selma: Marge's dates get homelier all the time. Patty
That's what you get when you don't put out. [Or maybe Patty and Selma....
Homer: You said you'd go the prom with me. Marge: I also said I hated you, and we haven't even talked since then.
Homer: I was afraid you'd cancel our date, so I stayed away from you comple...
Wait a second. Is that a bong-g? [student points at his throat] You have asthma?
All right. Move along. -- Mr. Dondelinger chaperones the prom, "The Way We Wa...
Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king.
Good for you. -- Artie Ziff's acceptance speech, "The Wa...
Driver: Well, where to now, Romeo? Homer: Inspiration point.
Driver: Okay, but I'm only paid to drive....
Artie: Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my busy hands.
Not so much for myself, but I am so respected, it would damage the TOWN to hear it....
You know, when that Simpson boy showed up, it took years off my life.
-- Mr. Bouvier, "The Way We Wa...
The Lord has handed down to us ten commandments by which to live.
I will now read them in no particular order. -- Moses, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
I should box your ears, you, you, you SNEAKY PETE! -- Flanders is upset at the cable TV hook-up man, "Homer vs.
Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
So you've decided to steal cable. Myth: Cable piracy is wrong.
Fact: Cable companies are big faceless corporations, which makes it okay....
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