The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Bart: Hey, Martin, tell him what we do with squealers.
Martin: I don't know. Is it worse than what you do with people who have to go to the bathroom?...
I've got some cocoa on the stove. Who wants imitation marshmallows?
-- Marge, "Three Men and a Comic Book...
Bart: We worked so hard, and now it's all gone.
We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share....
Diamond Joe Quimby: Chief Wiggum, Archbishop McGee, distinguished guests, I am pleased to dedicate this emergency warning system.
In the off-chance of a nuclear disaster, this sign wil...
No quack sawbones is going to apply his leeches to me.
As long as there's an ounce of strength left in me, I....
Smithers, don't feel so bad. After all, that kidney you donated to me really hit the spot.
I can't believe you guys. There's a human being out there with millions of dollars who needs our help.
And you don't want to cash in? -- Homer tries to take the moral high ground when none of...
howing Maggie flashcards] Maggie, look! What's that?
Lemur. [slowly] Le-mur. [next card] Zebu. [slowly] Ze-bu....
Marge: [watching Lisa show Maggie flashcards] What's a zebu?
Lisa: It's like an ox, only it has a hump and a dewlap....
Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story? Homer: Yeah, probably....

< previous

461

462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
654
next >